Like A Horrific Blood Bath

Like A Horrific Blood Bath

Its 3:35 am on the 25th April 1915.  I’m on the landing boat with a couple of friends, Ali and Noah.  We came on this great adventure together. The boat was swaying from side to side.  We were all feeling happy in a nervous way.

Suddenly there was a big flash of light.  Killing bullets were raining down on our boat.  I actually felt petrified for the first time in my whole life.  I crouched down and that was when the bomb went off.  Hot and sharp shrapnel raced everywhere.

I looked to my right  and saw that Ali had been shot in his face.  On the side of his head there was a gigantic hole.  Blood and brains were pouring out.  Ali fell to the ground crying in pain.  I cried out in horror.

I need to get out of here I thought.  I gripped my gun like it was the final thing I would do in my entire life.  I felt a sharp sting in my non-functioning leg.  I looked towards my leg and red blood was pouring out like a non-stopping waterfall.  It was like a horrific blood bath.  This was not the adventure that I thought it was going to be.

By Jacob    

Reflection

I am learning to write an interesting recount.

I am so proud of making my recount interesting by using similes and adjectives.

It can be tricky to find the best similes to use in this story.

My buddy can help me by checking my work.

The next step for me in my learning is to write an even better recount.